There is something wholesome about coming back to this on a Sunday like today. Although funnily enough it’s not the first time I’ve tried to come back to writing on here. It’s something I’ve been debating. I feel like there are plenty of adventures to write about, to share with you, so that you know what I’ve been up to and what I’m doing in my day-to-day. And in those moments I’ll write down my thoughts and feelings and the things that happened in great detail. Most of it is in the same word document and is almost starting to look like the start of the novel idea that I had. I feel that this is also why I haven’t wanted to publish my writing on here - I want to be able to use it in my book, the one that’s currently third or fourth in line. That sounds far away, but I’m working towards having two of them done by the end of the year. Optimistic but setting goals actually makes me motivated to get writing. Another reason I sometimes struggle with publishing my Amsterdam adventures is because it has included so many wonderful and cool people besides myself, and writing about them publicly, even if I use fake names, I’m sure it’d be easy to know who is who, and that’s not something I feel ready or allowed to share right now.
Maybe, therefore, the best place to focus my blog posts on, is myself and my adventures.
The wonderful energy of this Sunday that got me to write again is, luckily, not unique to today. It’s a recurring feeling that has appeared the last few Sundays.
I tend not to go out on Saturday nights and instead spend them doing something for myself like reading, writing, or watching a bit of Netflix. This, in turn, means when I wake up around 07:30 on a Sunday morning I’m feeling rested and very calm. I absolutely adore my Sunday mornings. The hours between 07:30 and 11:00 really feel like they’re my own and I get to hang out in my own head space. My flatmates tend to sleep in, which seems in tune with the rest of the street, which remains fairly calm during this time frame.
I’ll make my way out of bed, wash my face, and head to the kitchen to turn make coffee in my Bialetto. While the coffee is getting ready, I’ll head back to my room to grab one of the books I’m reading and then head towards the living room where I plant myself on the couch. Slowly, the room fills itself with the smell of coffee and not too long after the coffee makes its simmering noise, indicating that it’s done. Coffee cup in hand, I’ll curl up on the couch and dive into my book - currently it’s Women Who Run with the Wolves.
Today felt extra sweet because, after lunch, (which, by this time it was already 15:00-ish) I curled op on my bed, got cosy under a blanket, and spend quite a lot of time reading again. I’m really enjoying the book and it’s philosophy and lessons. While reading I also tend to get really inspired for my own writing, and once again, for the second time today, I got the urge to write on here. Whether this blog writing will be more consistent now is a question I don’t have an answer for. There is more I want to share. So much of the life that is happening around me and inside of me. But I think what really sparked the desire to share and to blog again is the fact that I feel very happy.
Moving to Amsterdam and the life I’m creating here for myself, although very similar in some ways in regards to work and creative projects, has been so different than what life was like in St. Barth. There I spend a lot of time with family, being at home. It’s a period of my life that I’d describe as very internally busy but externally calm. Now that I’m in Amsterdam I feel as if I’ve flipped the two - in a positive manner. I’m externally very busy, meeting new people, discovering the city, going out, trying things by myself (like joining a meet-up group to play football). Yet internally I’ve never felt so calm before in my life. I feel as if all the work I’ve been doing on myself, on my mindset, my outlook on life, that it’s all coming together now and is allowing me to feel confident in myself and in who I am and who I choose to create each and everyday. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more empowered by myself than I do now.
It’s this trust in myself that is also giving me the energy and the motivation to write and to really shape my ideas into concrete realities. I no longer doubt whether my projects will turn out good or whether my writing will be worth it. I know it will, simply because I’m creating it from a place that is 100% me, a place that is completely a representation of Leona and therefore will reveal itself as something that portrays my love and passion for that which I create.
I’m feeling excited again to write on here, as well as on my other online platforms. I’ve been quite offline and I do intend to stay that way, simply because it gives me a) more peace of mind, and b) it means that when I’m writing, I’m working on my book(s) - projects for which I have given myself an (optimistic) deadline. But I do value the joy I get out of an occasional blog post. I’m sure in the future I’ll share some more about the special people I’ve met and the things I have done, but maybe you’ll have to wait for my book to read that.
I hope your Sunday has been as lovely as mine. I hope your every day is as lovely as this Sunday was to me.
Usually around 09:30 I head back towards my room, having in the meantime also enjoyed a cup of tea and breakfast, and clean up. I love the feeling of a clean room to end one week and start the next. After that I’ll change into my football clothes, grab my sports bag and head downstairs to hop on my bike and cycle to Museumplein. Here, together with a large group of men, whom are all internationals and expats and locals who love to play football for fun, join up for, at least, two hours of playing a football match. While sometimes insanely cold (like today), it is always a good time. The people are incredibly friendly and as I’ve been going regularly for the past month and a half, some of my fellow players have started to become friends.
After cycling back for another 20 minutes, tired and cold but high on endorphins, I struggle to climb up another three flights of steep stairs, and I feel overjoyed at coming home. This, to me, has been a strong indicator of that I’ve really settled in here in Amsterdam and in my apartment, and especially in my own room - it really feels like my own little cocoon. I’ll shower and wash my hair, put on a cosy sweater and rejoice at the fact that now I’m clean, my room is clean, I’ve had a great workout and that the only thing left for me to really do is make a tasty meal for myself. It’s Sunday that is, currently, my favourite day to cook. I take my time, cooking with attention and love.